你永远不会明白，因为你不是我

To be honest , I don't know what's going on with me nowadays , especially NOW.
I don't feel fine and yet I'm still smiling :)
Actually I have a lot of things to write .
But , when I have a lot of things on my mind , I don't feel like blogging .
When I feel like blogging , I forgot what I wanted to write . *geez* T_T

There's always ups and downs in my university life.
Sometimes I enjoy it , sometimes I don't . Sometimes I feel lonely out of sudden .
Sometimes I feel sad and lonely when I see some of the people don't dare to approach me , as in talking with me in a friendlier and relax situation . What makes them afraid of me?
Or did I just think too much again ? T_T Yes , I tend to be more quiet when I'm with one person or in too big group . I wish I can change my own attitude. I wish I can know how to communicate more or change topic.

I'm just like Xiumin oppa in the last episode of EXO showtime .When he was about to expressed his feelings , everyone tend to be quiet and focus on him . And he was like complaining , " Why do you guys always so quiet when it is my turn to talk? " I can feel him . I mean like why everyone suddenly became so serious when Xiumin oppa talk. I just dislike that kind of feelings you know . Maybe perhaps Xiumin thinks that way too ? XD He can change because he is artist but I'm not . Hmmmmm ~


I don't know why when I talk too much , I feel like certain people doesn't like the way I talk or like macam ignore me . This is why I tend to keep quiet . I'm actually quite an introvert person. I want people to approach in a more friendlier way or relax way instead of I approach people . xD

Should I type it here? Because I'm going to let her read my blog . I hope she doesn't mind .
(To her , I'm sorry if I ever hurt your feelings by writing it here...)
I sometimes really get "jealous" of her whereby she tends to like have more friends than me in university.She can be like so random saying hi to the passerby or other students whom she don't know. How nice I can be like her? She really has the cute and charming look to attract people to talk with her. I don't . And I feel like errrm just tend to be sad and lonely. I'm not good in approaching people and I want to change that. What should I do? D:

Nights peeps ! :D