27 October 2016

One step away to Graduation !

I am now one step away from becoming "officially unemployed" girl. XD I am just one step away from graduation. Back then I was still a freshman in October 2013. Now I am almost graduating soon. How fast the time flies !! T_T

Most of my course mates and friends had completed their studies. I wish I had completed mine too. I left Final Year Project (FYP) to do. Sigh ~~ FYP is ain't easy subject to part. I hate to do assignment or research. I just hate it !! Don't ask me why! Haha.

Anyways, I'd been pursuing my Bachelor Degree in International Business (Hons) in UTAR for the past three years and it is now almost time to say "bye bye" to the uni. Usually people will feel happy or sad leaving uni life, but I am feeling mutual right now. xD I am feeling neither sad or happy.  Honestly, studying in UTAR is not easy. I feel very stress every semester especially during midterm, assignment and final examination (basically everything). I'd always worry that I will fail a paper. Failing in UTAR = Cannot graduate on time. Superb stress I tell you !! Fortunately, I did not fail any paper in my course. I am not a smart student as what you think , I am just an average student who always just "ngam ngam" pass her test :D

I would like to take this opportunity to my friends for coming into my life in the past three years :D  I am always grateful to have them.You know who you are especially my close buddies. I am sorry if I ever hurt your feelings. You know I tend to go emo suddenly without any reason and ignore you guys ! I am really sorry if I did hurt your feelings sometimes but thank you for understanding me and accept the way I am. I am not the very outgoing type of person. I am also not good in expressing myself. I always keep everything to myself which makes me emo and ignore you guys haha. This is one of my bad habit !

Honestly la, until now I still find very hard for me to communicate with people. I can't seem to click with anyone lol.. Probably because I cannot find suitable topic to communicate with? I feel very awkward and there's always a gap between me and you. FYI, I'm not the type of person who open her heart easily !! If I can tell you everything about myself and my life, you are really a special one. I trust you. People do need someone to talk to right?! It is not good to bottle up everything inside. Unhealthy !!!

Throughout my uni life, I'd learn a lot of things such as making a lot of friends, meeting good and not good lecturers, hold event with my bff , meeting oppa and unni and of course language.I think my mandarin has improved a lil ? compared to the past 3 years. I feel my mandarin is slightly even better than cantonese LOL.  On the other hand, I couldn't find my "Mr Right" in university. *sobs* Where did all the handsome guys went?? T^T I'm still officially single now. HAHA (trying to promote myself, anyone wants me?)

For now I should pray hard that I will get a good results for my last paper. My supervisor mood is unpredictable. I should start to look for permanent job already ! I need money for my travel. hahaha. Last but not least I hope I can meet my close buddies in March 2017 convocation ! :D See ya soon :)

16 May 2016

Thank you !

Like a dream I have met you, like a dream we loved
Our love was as happy as a dream
Like a dream you have appeared, like a dream you have left
Comeback to me again, since I’ll be waiting here for you"

#nowplaying : Like A Dream - Apink  

Saying goodbye is always hard than saying hello.

Aloha readers :)
I am finally back after a year. 
This time I am going to post about my internship life.
Before I start, I would like to apologize for grammar error and etc ....

To be very honest, I don't know where I should start off with.  13 May 2016 marked my last day of internship in PropertyGuru Malaysia. Thank you for everything and for the memories. Thank you for having me for the past 4.5 months in PropertyGuru Malaysia. I am very grateful and thankful for giving me this opportunity to complete my internship in PGMY :)  

Working in PGMY for the past 4.5 months gave me deja vu feeling. I've felt that I have seen myself working in PGMY in my dream before I join the company. It seems so real until it makes me wonder if my dreams actually mean something.  Perhaps, maybe it is my fate to work in PGMY?! hahah... I don't know what is the exact reason which makes me feel very grateful, happy, thankful and excited to stay in PGMY. Hahah. 

Throughout the past 4.5 months, I am very glad and grateful to learn many things which is related to HR from my boss. If you ask me why did I choose HR position for my internship period, honestly I do not know why. I actually have many choices for me to choose a job category as I'm studying International Business course. However , I decided to choose HR department. Maybe because I prefer to sit in the office and I am the quiet type of person. Hahah . Gosh! I couldn't believe I said that =.=

Ever since I step into this company, my life become much more cheerful and brighter.(#macamyes) XD One of the reason is because I get to "cuci mata" in PGMY! Muhahahaha.... For the past 4.5 months, I've gained many nick names from the colleagues. From Krystal to 钟家欣, Mini Choong, Watermelon, Tembikai, Bucktooth, Donkey etc...... LOL! I have never thought that I could mingle around with people in PGMY! Before I join in here, I thought that I could not mingle around with colleagues as I am scare to interact and I look blur most of the time. T_T 

Thank you for approaching me first all the time. Thank you for being friends with me. Thank you for bringing me out. Thank you for buying me gifts. I really appreciate that. Sorry for not showing it out as I don't really express my feelings out easily in person. Sorry if I ever hurt your feelings. I don't mean to hurt your feelings ! 

Long story short. Imma gonna cut short my grandma story now :|

To Crystals and Jivitah : Thank you for being patience with me and guide me throughout my internship period. I learn nothing w/o both of you. I  would love to work with both of you again in the near future! Hahah. Cheers :) 

To Karthikk and Divya : Thank you for making me happy all the time! Thank you for letting me to ejek you (sometimes) I wouldn't want to say much now. Everything is on the love letter :) 

To Yan, Bella and Dennise : LOL! Thank you for sharing food with me. Thank you for approaching me. Thank you for playing along with me all the time. My internship life is interesting because of you. I would like to have you all as my colleague again. Read the love letter again! keke

To others : Sorry for not giving special love letter for each and everyone of you. I will literally die if I do! xD It takes time for me to just write one letter. Just wanna say thank you for everything. 


Cheers. Good night !

30 June 2015

“Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed.” ~ Buddha

Up till now, I realized  I always  encountered this personal problem, which is an inability to express my feelings. I can't really express my feelings and thoughts clearly. Perhaps, maybe because I'm totally an introvert person? I can always express my feelings like being happy or something positive to my few trusted friends, but aside from that I can't. I just don't know how. I can't really tell them about my sadness or my pain because I feel like they don't know a thing (or even understand my situation).

Every single time when I thought about it, it bothers me why I am having this sort of problem and I feel very isolated every time. These feelings began during lower-six when I felt like I'm being left out.  I thought I can change to be a person who can freely express feelings or thoughts as I grow older, but it happens the other way round. It's getting worse! 

We all want to feel good and happy. When something is upsetting us, all we want is to feel better as soon as possible. But I've slowly learned that trying to convince yourself that you're fine when you're not will only make you feel worse.

I would always fake a smile to assure everyone that I was perfectly fine when I went through a phase of feeling depressed and lonely all the time. (That's because they don't understand me even if I tell them my problem)

I would honestly tell myself to stop being so pathetic and dramatic and that I had no reason to be under such a large, black cloud all the time. I shoved my feelings away and never opened myself up to talk about anything ( That's what I always do. It is not like I'm not interested to listen or talk anything, but every time I talk something, they just like either "buat tak tahu" or something else instead) It actually hurts my feelings a lot.

The same thing tends to happen even if I'm feeling a positive emotion. There have been times where I've felt happy, but let negative surrounding put a damper on my spirit. I would hold back my optimism whenever I was around them. Sometimes, people will tear you down when you're happy or make you feel like you don't deserve to be happy. It makes you feel as if being happy is wrong or offensive.

I often tell myself that what I'm feeling is irrational or stupid. I feel obligated to pretend that I'm stronger and happier than I actually am, even when I'm not. It is extremely rare for me to ever sit down and openly talk about my real feelings. I tend to smother or bottle everything up and it's not healthy.

Because of this, I rather keep quiet all the time or don't feel like communicating with people. I worry that I will hurt their feelings if I over express myself. ( I actually hurt a few of my friends before because I "over confident" in expressing myself.) Sometimes, I really want to escape from reality. 


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